


Vacation

by Lendruel



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-01
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2017-11-15 10:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lendruel/pseuds/Lendruel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holly Short takes her first vacation in a few decades, and decides to spend some time topside. Any and all criticisms welcome. *THIS IS REALLY OLD SO I'M JUST GONNA POST ALL OF IT THAT I HAVE AND THEN MAYBE ADD MORE IF PEOPLE THINK IT ISN'T TRASH*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Hellothere. My name is Lendruel, and i am here because why not. this is being copied from my fanfiction account at<http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3279331/> . My work will be posted there first, so if you like my writing, give it a look. That page also has all the chapters of the story so far, as well as one other, because I'm not finished uploading to this site. Please read and review, because I require constant attention.  **

**~Yours in madness,**

**Lendruel.**

* * *

It was a warm, summer evening, with the sun finally beginning to wane. It cast a few last golden, dying rays across a manicured lawn, casting long shadows behind the hedges, reflecting off of the tall windows of the manor. It was a stately affair, a fifteenth-century castle that had been kept in perfect condition over the ages. With a few rather substantial security improvements, of course.

            The two hundred acre estate was rather secluded, obscured from any main roads by oak trees and sheer distance. There were fields far around the manor, with grass glowing gold in the setting sun. It was over these fields that a diminutive figure sped, traveling at a speed that would be illegal had she bothered with a car. Or with the ground.

            This speed was not one brought by urgency, however. This was a flight of joy, reveling in the splendor of spring and the beauty of nature. A summer sunset was a sight to see, and a rare one when you lived underground. Almost all of her kind loved the surface, and this fairy was no exception. When you combined the first breath of truly fresh air in months with the freedom of flight, it would be expected for anyone to lose their head a little.

            Captain Holly Short was above ground, with a brand new set of wings, and she was on vacation.

~

            Artemis Fowl II sat in his study. Not his monitoring room, as that was now rarely used after his father’s return, but in his more recently created office. It was separate from his bedroom- he had decided that a separate room for work would provide an environment free from distraction. He was wrong. The room was lined wall to wall with books, ranging from weathered tomes of ancient text to modern romance, to books he himself had published. The bookshelves were broken at some points by tall stained-glass windows, abstract designs swirling across the surface. Despite the efforts of the staff, the room could not be properly dusted. Something to do with the combination of a carpeted room and too many books seemed to attract little particles of dust, floating in the rays of light that played across the room.

            He was currently relaxing in a high backed leather chair, reading one of his many books. Neglecting his work. He was supposed to be annihilating enemy corporations, but he just kept picking up this book. It had been a gift, a popular novel among the People. It was a collection of short stories, with no defining genre- some horror, some romance. Not exactly his style, but the cultural differences and similarities were fascinating to him. They were surprisingly similar in so many ways…

            He set the book down, sighing. He was halfway through the book, having already read it repeatedly. As his computer went to sleep, with an offended little beep, he gave up. Picking up the book and shutting down the computer, he wandered back to his room. The warm weather seemed to be having an effect on him- his focus seemed much more inclined to drift as of late.

            Tossing the book onto his bed from across the room, he soon followed suit. Stretching his arms and leaving one behind his head for support, he crossed his legs and picked up the book again. The heat had made him unwilling to slick back his hair constantly, as lethargy had begun to set in in the mornings.  One stray lock of hair dangled in his eye, obscuring his vision. He pushed it away impatiently, allowing his one hazel eye to see properly. His other, a bright ice blue, was already deeply focused on his reading. He had a look of utter concentration on his face, analyzing every detail. His eyes were slightly widened, and he seemed completely at peace. As if he had everything he could ever need, just as long as he was learning.

            The golden beams of sun were still illuminating his frame, through the open window by his desk. His room faced outwards, overlooking the expansive gardens and fields of Fowl Manor. If he had been looking, he would have told himself that it was probably just a bird that shimmered out of sight in the distance. But he wasn’t looking, and Holly short went unseen as she crept up to the house.

~

            Holly made an addition to the mental list of things to thank Foaly for. This new wing design was perfect- lightweight, thought sensitive, and not even “whisper silent”, as the old ones had been referred to as. These were purely silent, the wings not making a sound as the propelled her forwards. She did so now, gliding towards the window on the second floor of the manor, grinning slightly. She had him this time.

Of course, she wasn’t wearing a helmet, as those were only for when the job required. Flying without was incomparably better. Her auburn hair was whipped around her face, and would have been a complete mess had it been as long as some other elves wore it. With her shorter hair, however, it settled for “interestingly windswept”. She could hear only the wind in her ears, the pointed appendages unable to make out anything else despite their increase sensitivity over humans.

She stowed her wings a few feet above his window and dropped soundlessly onto the sill. The wings were left to hang in the mouth of a stone gargoyle- they could be retrieved later.

Stepping lightly into the bedroom, still shielded, she spied Artemis. He appeared to have fallen asleep, one hand behind his head and a book open on his chest. He was breathing evenly, eyes closed.

            _This is going to be good,_ Holly thought. She crept over to the sleeping teen, eyeing him for any signs of awareness. There were none.

            She stood at the side of his bed, now, and grinned even wider. She imagined what she would look like if only her teeth were unshielded- a Cheshire cat, floating in space. She reached out, to grab Artemis’ shoulder and scare the life out of him. An inch away from his perfectly tailored shirt, Holly had the life scared out of _her_.

            “Why, Hello, Holly.” A hand had shot up, snatching her wrist gently where it hovered. “Whatever are you doing here?”

            “D’arvit!” Holly had jumped about a foot in the air, exclaiming loudly as her plan was foiled once again. “How do you always _do_ that, arty? I didn’t make a sound!”

            Artemis’s eyes remained closed, but his patented vampire smirk had emerged.

            “I must be allowed to keep _some_ secrets, Holly. How else am I to appear mysterious and enigmatic?” he relinquished her hand, and raised the book that had previously lain open on his chest.

            “I’ve been reading your gift, by the way. It has proved to be… surprisingly informative. You have rather good taste.” Holly bit back a laugh at this, taking the book from him.

            “This book? Really? Because, in haven, this author is the equivalent of _Stephanie Meyer._ ” Artimis’ eyes shot open.

            “ _What.”_

“Yup! You’ve been reading at the reading level of a teenage girl, fairy or not. I never expected you to take it so seriously!” Holly was truly laughing now, and had to hold on to the frame of his bed for support. Artemis was not amused.

            “How _could_ you, Holly! You have subjected me to such terrible literature without my knowledge? I feel so violated!” Holly only laughed harder at his indignation, so Artemis tried a new tactic.

“You might even say I feel… dirty.” He grinned mischievously. “Now I have to get even.

After all,” and he smiled even wider now, “you’ve been _bad.”_

            Holly stopped laughing. And gulped audibly.

            “Now then, while I have your attention. You wanted something?” Artemis leaned back, content with yet another victory.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again. Here's a story. I haven't really got anything to put in these author's notes, because all these chapters are pretty old. So if you care about that, read on the other site I guess.**

**Yours in madness,**

**~Lendruel.**

**~**

Holly stammered, lost for words. Once again, that infuriating mud man had left her speechless. She tried in vain to appear unfazed. She failed miserably.

            “W- What? I-um- sorry, what?” Artemis pretended to look annoyed at her distraction. On the inside, he was cackling.

            “Well, Holly, I assume you had a reason for coming here, did you not? One does not usually take a trip to the surface just to scare one “mud man”, do they?” of course, Artemis had already guessed the reason for her visit- in her last few calls, holly had vaguely hinted that  she had been meaning to take a vacation, but had never gotten around to it. Apparently, several decades of vacation time tend to stack up. Thus, he was unsurprised at her visit. Of course, he had decided to let her have her fill of awkward stammering before throwing her a rope.

            “Right! Right. Reason. Right. Well, I haven’t had a vacation in a while, and I got approval for one, and I haven’t seen- I mean I missed- I mean- most People-friendly establishments topside are really pricy, and LEP didn’t cover any expenses, and Angeline said I was always welcome, and-“ Holly’s face was beginning to get a bit red, and she was inwardly kicking herself for how she must sound.

            _Like a schoolgirl asking someone to their first dance! What is wrong with me?_

Artemis decided to save her from her babbling- the captain was not one for long explanations, and the run on sentences were giving him a headache.

            “Would you like to stay at the manor for your vacation, Holly?”

            “Yes! Thank you.” Holly sighed in relief, looking a bit sheepish for once. “If it isn’t too much trouble, I mean.” Artemis smirked again.

            “It’s quite alright. We’ve had a spare room ready for a week. Not to sound overly cliché, but… we’ve been expecting you.”

            “Then why did you let me embarrass myself like that? You could have just asked in the first place!” Holly huffed angrily, crossing her arms. 

            Sitting up in his bed, back against the wall, Artemis appraised his female friend. Even when angry, it did nothing to subtract from her looks. She looked like a small animal, he decided, with her face scrunched up in annoyance. A bunny, perhaps. Maybe a cat. Not that he would ever tell her that, of course. Her temper could only hold so far.

            “Because it was funny! I never get to see you so… flustered. I couldn’t stand to miss an opportunity for further study.”

            “Of course you couldn’t,” Holly sighed. “Always ‘further study’ with you, isn’t it?” she blinked. “Wait. You’ve been expecting me? How did you know I was going to visit?” a moment of thought, and then she was irritated again. “Foaly told you, didn’t he? I _told_ him not to.”

            Artemis raised a hand in an attempt to placate her. “No, holly, Foaly revealed nothing of your visit, I assure you. No need to go and murder anyone. I am simply very intuitive. For instance, why do you think I left my window open? The blasted thing’s been letting in insects all day.” If he were any more smug, he probably would have been giggling.

            Artemis stood, crossed the room in a few long strides, and looked out. He immediately saw the wings, hanging above the window, and brought them inside. He set them on his desk and shut the window. Turning around as he latched it closed, holly felt a little nervous. It was that feeling you get when, after walking into a room with someone, they lock the door behind them…

            “Now then,” Artemis interrupted her reverie. “I believe you must have brought some luggage? You hardly plan to spend your vacation in a flight suit.”

            “Yeah, I left those out in the field, by that big oak tree. The one by that old stone wall, out in the meadow?”

            “Of course. I’ll have butler fetch them immediately.” He walked over to his door, picking up the wings on the way. “Would you like to see your room? Dinner shall be served in about an hour, which should give you time to sort yourself out.”

            Holly was smiling again as she stepped out of Artemis’ bedroom, looking forward to her suite. Fowl hospitality, assuming you were a guest _voluntarily,_ was not something to be missed.

            “Oh, and by the way, Arty,” she said as she crossed the threshold.

            “Yes?” Holly leaned closer, standing on her toes to whisper in his ear.

            “I missed you.” With that, she sauntered out of his room and onto the landing.

            Now, it was Artemis’ turn to blush.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying out the chapter notes box thing instead of posting in the actual story. Formatting/posting on this website is much more complicated than on fanfiction.net, but it's probably worth it. Sorry if there are any problems with indentation and whatnot, I'm still getting used to this. it would be nice if I could just upload a document.   
> Yours in Madness,  
> ~Lendruel.

Holly was beginning to come down from her exuberant high over her new room. She was packing her belongings into on huge walk in closet, one of the many features she had exclaimed over. Normally, of course, she was a no-nonsense kind of girl, but she _was_ on vacation wasn’t she? She was allowed to indulge in a little materialism every now and then. Her supply of clothes and belongings barely made a dent in the closet’s free space.

Toppling backwards onto her double bed, she heaved a sigh of happy exhaustion. Remembering her minor victory, but a victory nonetheless, over Artemis, she allowed a smile to grace her features. Seeing him stammer was fun. Of course, this led to recollection of her own stammering. Before she could allow this to spoil her mood, she put the whole mess out of her head and entered the bathroom.

This was another “money is no obstacle” part of the manor- all white, shining marble, with shining faucets and a bathtub that was practically a Jacuzzi. To her small elven frame, it was practically a pool. She gleefully ran the faucet at its hottest setting. This would normally be too hot for a human, given the excellent plumbing of Fowl Manor, but she was used to showers heated by the molten core of the earth. As such, the water here was actually a little below what she would have preferred. Still, the bath itself was far nicer than the one at home. She could probably swim laps in this one.

_Stupid LEP budget. I should turn to crime, if you get a bathroom like this…_ holly’s mutinous thoughts were soon drowned in the steam rising from the bath.

**~**

            Artemis lay on his bed, even more distracted than before. He picked up his laptop, intending to return to his work, but with no luck. He found himself staring at a blank screen, the glow from the machine casting him in a ghostly light. He pushed the computer away, and picked up a book. Not the one holly had given him- if she had been telling the truth, that one would have to be locked away safely somewhere. Not destroyed, though. It had… sentimental value.

            He soon found himself unable to concentrate on this new book, either. When he had read the same sentence in an analysis on the works of Plato for the fifth time, without registering a word, he tossed the book aside. Giving up, he simply lay back and immersed himself in thought.

            He recalled telling his mother and father of holly’s arrival. The reaction had been odd. Angeline was ecstatic, of course, and he had neglected to tell the twins. He wanted to surprise them. His father, however, had seemed almost nervous. He had stated that he would be glad to meet the fairy girl, but he looked like a teenager who wanted to impress his girlfriend’s parents. He was fidgeting, which is an essentially non-fowl trait.

            Trailing back further in his memory, he thought of holly herself. _I missed you,_ she had said. And he had acted like a buffoon.

            _I could just kick myself! She did that on purpose, making me feel like a little child… I shall best her next time._ Artemis ignored the little voice in his head that informed him, rather sarcastically, that he had started plotting again. Self-doubt is ill-becoming of a genius.

            Finally, Artemis decided to take a shower. The hot water should clear his head, and if nothing else, he was sweaty from the hot day. The water was suspiciously cold- it seemed that all the hot water had gone elsewhere. Still, the cool water was refreshing after such warm weather.

            Toweling himself off, and stepping out of the shower, Artemis surveyed his wardrobe. There was an expansive- and expensive- array of designer clothes to choose from, as it was something that he secretly put rather a large amount of effort into. Eventually, he chose a simple outfit- a black, slim fit dress shirt and black pants. Hot though it may be, he had an image to maintain. He elected to leave the tie out, however, so as to unbutton the top buttons. His mother would be thrilled, he thought wryly.

            Just as he put the finishing touches on his clothes, he heard Butler’s voice through the door.

            “Artemis, dinner will be on the table in a moment. Would you like me to tell holly?”

            “No, Butler, that’s alright. I’ll tell her myself.” Hearing his lifelong protector retreat down the stairs, he examined himself in the mirror. The cut of his clothes had the effect of making him seem even more slender than usual- he could foresee forced extra helpings from his mother to fend off malnutrition. Satisfied with his appearance, he made his way to Holly’s room.

**~**

            Artemis stood outside her door, hand on the doorknob. He had been about to enter without knocking, and had caught himself just in time. His mind was now trapped between the horrible awkwardness and possible benefits that could have resulted of walking in unannounced. Shaking his head sharply, he raised the hand and knocked. Three sharp raps, to get Holly’s attention.

            Holly was just putting on her shoes when she heard Artemis knock. It couldn’t have been anyone else- only he could sound so formal when _knocking_.

            “It’s alright, you can come in,” she called, and stood up. She brushed an imaginary piece of lint off of her jeans as the door opened.

            Artemis stuck his head around the door, as if readying himself to jump back out of the room if she was ‘indecent’.

            “I came to inform you that dinner is about to… be… ser…v…” Artemis trailed off. For the second time this night, he was at a loss for words.

            Holly grinned at his speechlessness, chalking up another victory for herself. Artemis absentmindedly stepped fully into the doorway.

            “Well? How do I look? Am I up to Fowl standards?”

            Artemis made a curious coughing sound. He rarely saw Holly in anything other than her LEP Recon suit, as casual clothes had no place in their adventures. He was completely unprepared for anything else.

            She wore a green, billowy shirt, light so as to combat the heat. The cut of the fabric made her look slightly exotic, foreign in some way. The jeans she wore were less alien, but just as eye-catching. They seemed to have been perfectly… fitted, not to put too fine a point on it.

            _I suppose you have a lot of time to find the perfect fit when you live as long as the People do,_ Artemis thought numbly. What he said was:

            “…Good. Very… good.” It was as close to articulate speech as she was going to get under current circumstances, he decided.

            Holly laughed at this, not calling him out for once on his rare lapse in coherent speech.

            “Well, then,” she said, striding past him yet again and out the door. “Shall we go?”

            By the time she was out of the door, Artemis was at her side. And mentally berating himself furiously.

**~**

**Don’t worry; there’ll be less stammering on Arty’s side from now on.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAHHHH OH GOD WHAT IS THAT- oh, it's another chapter. Ok. So, for some reason the indentation in paragraphs stops like halfway down the page. If anyone knows why AO3 does that, I'd appreciate it.

Something was happening in the dining room. The twins had noticed, and were studying the strange behavior of their parents. Myles and Beckett were sitting at the long oak table, waiting patiently for Artemis and Holly. Such good children they were. At least, this was the image they were desperately trying to convey- there had been an incident earlier, involving one of Myles’ “experiments,” as well as several yards of tape. They were eager to get back into Angeline’s good books. Still, this did not inhibit their observations.

            It was truly dark now, if not quite nighttime. There was no sun to be seen, a cool blue darkness seeping over the manor. The lights of the dining room cast golden light out onto the lawn. The table, perfectly set as always, was placed perpendicular to the window. A crisp white tablecloth covered its surface, with shining silverware strewn about. Everything was in place but the food, which Juliet and Butler were currently bringing in from the kitchens. To her credit, Angeline had refused most of their offers of help. She was dead set on the idea of a “normal” household for the Fowls, and had decided to arrange that night’s dinner herself. Of course, cooking for such a large group of people was no easy task, and she had eventually allowed the Butlers to help with the more tedious tasks. The skill with blades they possessed made it go much faster, and Angeline made sure to stay far away from the flashing silver as they went to work. They had ordered her to sit down once the meal was cooked, and would set the table themselves. No self-respecting Butler, in either sense of the word, would let their mistress run herself ragged performing medial chores.

            She was sitting at the head of the table now, by her husband Artemis fowl Sr. her seat faced away from the stairs leading down into the dining room, but she had angled it slightly sideways. She repeatedly glanced at the upper landing expectantly, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. She was obviously anticipating something, but the twins had no idea what.

            Artemis Sr. was also anxious, but on the complete opposite ends of the spectrum. He was alternately tapping his fingers and fixing his tie- more fidgeting fowls. This did not bode well for the family image. He was acting like a teenager, wanting to make a good impression on his girlfriend’s parents. He looked like an older version of Artemis- the same pale features, black hair, and blue eyes, but his hair was now peppered with grey. His designer suit was probably a little uncomfortable for the season, but it was cooler in the evening. He glanced at the landing again. The carpet remained irritatingly unoccupied.

            Myles and Beckett shared a look, wondering what was wrong with their parents. Looking up at the landing themselves, and seeing nothing, they shook their heads sadly.

            “Grownups are simple-toons,” sighed Beckett. Myles agreed wholeheartedly.

Just before turning onto the landing, Artemis hesitated slightly.      

_This is it,_ he thought. _Hopefully, my parents will refrain from ruining my life._ Before Holly could comment on his trepidation, he took a deep breath and stepped onto the first step. Holly followed at his side.

With as much composure and dignity as they could muster, Artemis and Holly descended the stairs, heading for the dining room. As they reached the second step, and Angeline caught sight of them, she squealed excitedly. Jumping up from her seat, she ran to join them at the bottom of the stairs. Artemis Sr.’s reaction was less extreme, but Myles noticed his head snap up as he noticed his son and guest. The fidgeting increased as he stood stiffly.

“So _you_ are the girl Arty is always talking about!” Angeline had reached her prey.

“Mother-” Artemis began in a wounded tone, flushing slightly.

“Hush, Arty.” Angeline cast him a look that made him shrink back slightly. “It’s so good to finally meet you! I’ve heard _so_ much about you! And I can see why, you’re certainly a pretty one. Very… sprightly.” Holly was taken aback at the sudden rush of speech, and was soon washed away.

“Oh, you _must_ tell us about your adventures! I’m sure your side of the story is a little different from Arty’s, and he’s probably left quite a bit out. I trust you’ve been keeping an eye on him? He can get up to quite a bit of trouble if you don’t watch him like a hawk.”

“ _Mother-”_ Artemis began, but was now cut off by Holly.

“Hush, arty. Yes’m, I try to make sure he doesn’t commit any major felonies, being a sort of police officer where I come from. Well, that seems to be the closest thing you people- I mean, humans have.” Truth be told, however, she was also keeping an eye on the table. The food looked amazing, despite being human-made, and she hadn’t eaten since she left Haven.

“Angeline,” said Timmy, noticing her distraction, “I’m sure our guest is hungry after travelling so far. Would you mind showing her to her seat, Artemis?”

“Of course, Fa- Dad.” Artemis saved Holly from his mother, and all three retreated to their seats at the dinner table. On the way, Holly stopped before Artemis’ father. He bowed slightly, and Holly, not knowing what to do, waved slightly.

“I take it you are Ms. Short?” Timmy held out his hand, and Holly shook it. That was much easier to reciprocate.

“Well, yes, but you can call me Holly. ‘Ms. Short’ makes me feel old.”

            “O-Of course.” The stammer was barely there, but Artemis noticed it. His _father,_ stuttering? The man who had always preached of strength and composure, who had run the fowl empire with an iron fist for years? This was unprecedented. He would have to look into it later.

            Holly turned once again to her seat, and was once again waylaid. This time, Myles and Beckett were looking up at her in awe. As soon as she made eye contact, they began firing questions and comments- exclaiming over her pointy ears and mismatched eyes, asking how she knew Artemis, wondering if they were dating, asking if she was going to be living here now. Finally, they stepped back from a bemused Holly, and Beckett proclaimed:

            “You, Holly, are too good for him.” They went back to their seats and proceeded to gossip behind raised hands as Holly laughed. In time, Artemis and Holly reached their seats. Artemis and Holly sat side by side, across from Myles and Beckett. Angeline and Timmy sat at the head of the table, which would be impossible with a lesser table. This, however, was no common table- a great expanse of shining oak, the wood free of stains and shining, not a scratch on the surface. It was rectangular, but much wider than most dinner tables. It could easily sit twelve people, so one end of the table was often left unoccupied. They had another table, of a similar style, which was often brought out for social functions- this was of a more standard dining hall fashion- stretching across a large portion of the room, but narrow enough that it only sat one at each end of the table. The wider table was as mediocre of a table as Timmy had allowed- there would be no plebian furniture in Fowl manor.

As Holly looked down at her food, she took a moment to appreciate the spread. The food was obviously expensive, and cooked to perfection. Most importantly, however, was the quality. All members of the family assured her that it was natural, organic food, with any animal products raised humanely and happily. Even if she wouldn’t eat the meat, it was good to know. Holly helped herself to a large helping of salad, bruschetta, and some sort of pasta dish with a ridiculous amount of sauce. She did not take any wine, of course, and settled for water. Irish spring, of course.

While they ate, Holly and Artemis’ parents chatted. Well, Angeline chatted and Holly commented. Timmy and Artemis were excluded for the moment. Finally, after exhausting her supply of small talk, Holly turned to Artemis Sr. She had noted his silence for most of the meal, and could not handle much more of Angeline’s energy.

“Are you alright, Mr. Fowl? You haven’t said a word all evening, I’ve noticed.” She had meant to call him “Artemis”, as she had asked him to call her Holly, but had gotten confused by the multiple namesakes. She felt that “Timmy” was something only Angeline called him.

“Oh! Yes, I am quite alright. I just… wasn’t quite sure what to say. I mean, I didn’t know of your existence until last year, and I’m still getting used to the whole thing.” Timmy gesticulated vaguely with his hands, casting about for the right words. The fork in his hand glinted in the light of the crystal chandelier, sending a spark of light flickering over the table. “I’m a little intimidated, to tell the truth.” Artemis the Second knew the feeling. “I mean, you’re older than me- no offense- but you look so much younger! And you’re Arty’s first real female friend, and he thinks so highly of you, so I have to make a good impression. And then, if I embarrass him, I’ll be in trouble with everyone, and I probably already am, and I’m still talking, why am I still talking, oh god I think I may have had a little too much wine.” Timmy was growing more and more frantic, and Artemis was sinking deeper and deeper into his chair.

_Oh gods,_ he thought. _This is where it all goes to hell, isn’t it._

Holly was thinking that Artemis Sr. looked just like his son when he was agitated. She decided to take pity on him, trying not to laugh.

“It’s fine, Mr. Fowl. A little humiliation is healthy for a growing boy. And besides, you’ve already made a good impression.” Timmy looked up at this, confused.

“How is that?” he asked.

“Well, even before I met you today, I’ve heard quite a bit about you.” Holly grinned. “Artemis seems to think the world of you, at least. Actually, though, I have met you before.” Timmy was even more befuddled now.

“Have you? I’m sure I would have remembered that. Was I under the- ah, what was it called- the Mesmer?”

“No, just unconscious. And probably a bit dead.”

“Ah, of course. Now it all makes sense.”

Over the next half hour, Holly and Artemis regaled the Fowl elders with the tale of Artemis Sr.’s rescue. Of course, Artemis had wanted to gloss over the bit about shooting him, but Holly had already reached that bit before he could intervene. Noticing his distress, she made sure to mention the anxiety he had felt at the time. At the end of the story, Artemis looked slightly sheepish.

“I’m, ah, sorry I shot you, father.” Artemis Sr., however, had lost some of his stoicism over the course of the story.

“Sorry? There’s no need to be sorry, my boy. That took courage. Thank you -both of you- I never knew how much you’ve grown, arty. I’m proud of you.” Artemis thought he might have seen a tear in his father’s eye. Holly thought she saw a tear in his. Angeline, of course had no such reservations. She had also had quite a bit more to drink than Timmy.

“Oh, arty, why didn’t you _tell_ me? I’m so p-proud, saving your own father, you’ve grown up so fast!” she was choked up now, and Artemis put a hand on her shoulder. He wasn’t quite sure what to do, here.

“It was some time ago, mother, there’s no need to…” he trailed off and let Holly hand her a tissue.

_He really is useless in these situations,_ thought Holly. _He’ll have to learn one day, if he gets a girlfriend._

After Angeline had calmed down a bit, Holly and Artemis told them of all their adventures. Unfortunately, this led to Timmy asking how the two met. As Artemis and Holly glanced at each other, not wanting to tell them, Butler intervened. He was clearing the plates away, in order to make room for dessert. Without missing a beat, he concocted a slightly vague story about Artemis “figuring out” the existence of fairies, and deciding to track one down. Angeline, in her emotional state, bought it, but Timmy looked suspicious. He would have to ask Holly later.

            When dessert was finished, Timmy turned to Holly. Angeline was leaning on his shoulder, half asleep. Artemis was busy entertaining the twins, who were up long past their bedtimes.

            “Well, I’m glad Arty has at someone like you at his side, when you’re off saving the world. And you’re a girl, which is even better! He can be such a shut in sometimes.” Timmy was beginning to sound a bit like Angeline now. For a moment, however, he sobered up. “Keep him in line, you hear? This family doesn’t need to be another criminal empire. Not again. Just… don’t let anything happen to my boy, alright?”

            “I promise, sir,” she answered nervously. With a lifestyle like theirs, that was a hard promise to keep, but she would sure as hell try.

            In the end, when dinner was over, Holly offered to help clean up. Artemis was surprised at this, and then felt a bit guilty. He was not accustomed to chores. Timmy, ever the gracious host, declined and sent them off to bed.

            “Juliet and Butler will do it,” he said. “I’d help, but I’m drunk enough that I’d just cut off one of my other limbs.” He laughed wryly. “Besides, I have to get my lightweight wife to bed.”

            As Timmy gathered up his wife and children in his arms, Artemis and Holly climbed the stairs to the second floor. The first evening of Holly’s vacation ended on a tired, but satisfied note.

            “Good night, Arty,” yawned Holly. As he dragged his feet to bed, Artemis managed one last articulate response.

            “Good night, Holly. Sleep well.”


	5. Chapter 5

Morning came as a wave of some viscous honey, inexorably advancing over the land. It flooded over trees and fields, creeping forward until it reached Fowl manor. The building was drowned in liquid sunlight, with fountains sparkling and windows shining. The birds were singing a melody, praising the return of light that gave life to the world.

The sight, however, went unnoticed. Only Butler roamed the halls, making his rounds. The Fowls were all asleep in bed, dead to the world after an especially late night. Angeline and Timmy were likely to wake with blinding headaches, but the twins and Holly were merely exhausted. Even Myles' and Beckett's seemingly limitless supply of energy had run dry, and they were not up at the crack of dawn for once. Artemis slept as well, and dreamed of the past.

He was on one of his adventures with Holly, he knew that. And logically, he knew he must be dreaming. What he was confused about, however, was the setting- had they ever visited a jungle like this? He could see trees and hanging vines, and the screaming of a silverback gorilla. Silverback… that brought something back. Just at the edge of his memory, a flash of teeth and flashes of pain. Then, turning in a circle to assess his surroundings, he realized something. Rather than vines, many of the trees at the edges of his vision were wrapped in gleaming metal bars. It felt like he was in some sort of cage, one that had been allowed to become overrun by plant life.

Then Artemis remembered. He was in the gorilla enclosure at the zoo again, during his excursion to the past! His subconscious seemed to have used a bit of artistic license with the scenery. Of course, now that he remembered where he was, he knew what was about to happen.

As he turned, seeing the silverback come crashing through the trees, he flinched. He knew it wasn't real, but that didn't really help in moments like these. Thankfully, his dream edited out the painful bits, and when he regained "consciousness", he lay in Holly's arms. Rather than pain, he felt a curious floating feeling, as if his limbs were weightless. Holly had healed him completely, and was cradling his head in her arms. She was saying something, telling him to wake up, and- crying?

Was she crying? Artemis wondered as she saw him open his eyes. She was laughing now, and crying, and behaving rather unprofessionally. As the dream was fading, moments before she disappeared, Holly kissed him.

In his room, with sunlight pouring in through his window, Artemis awoke, and gingerly touched a finger to his lips. For a few minutes, he lay in silence.

In the guest room, Holly was still asleep.

Artemis was up now, and dressing for the day ahead. He chose a white shirt this time, as it was supposed to be even hotter than the day before. He observed himself in a full length mirror as he buttoned the shirt, sighing in distaste. His hair was a mess, as always happened when he slept fitfully. After a few failed attempts to fix it, he noticed the clock's reflection. He had slept 'till noon! He rushed out of his room, making plans to make up for lost time. By the time he reached Holly's door, intending to wake her for brunch, he had formulated a plot. Rather than knocking, he turned and headed to the kitchens.

In the guest room, Holly was blissfully unconscious.

In the kitchens, Butler was making himself a light lunch. He had just sat down at the table with his sandwich and raised it to his mouth when Artemis entered. Sighing, he regretfully placed his meal back on his plate.

"Butler," Artemis said, striding into the kitchen. "I need your help."


	6. Chapter 6

"Butler, I need your help." These were words that had so often cast Butler's life into some wild scheme, risking life and limb with a plan that only Artemis ever really understood. Butler had learned to be wary of these words. He set down his lovingly crafted sandwich with trepidation. Whatever was coming, it wasn't going to be pretty.

"What is it, Artemis? Is there trouble?"

"Of a sort." Artemis grinned ruefully. "I need you to help me make breakfast."

For once in his life, the giant Eurasian man was truly afraid. "Artemis, are you- are you sure about this? This has the potential to go terribly, horribly, disastrously, catastrophically-"

"Butler-"

"Wrong."

"I'm sure you're right, old friend, but this is something that has to be done. Something that I have to do." The two men were treating this scenario with grave solemnity, understanding the dangerous task to be completed. Artemis had attempted to cook before, and it had not ended well. The mildest example would be a "sandwich" he made for Mulch Diggums, where only the meal itself suffered. On a previous occasion, Artemis had very nearly killed his entire Home Economics class in School. This was serious.

"Why do you have to do this? Why do you want to?" Butler was, and rightfully so, confused.

"Well, I thought that, since Holly must be tired from her travel, and last night's affairs, that I- we- should treat her to breakfast in bed. Or something. Does that make sense?" Artemis was trying to convey his idea without seeming too… romantic, and it was showing.

Butler chuckled quietly. "Perfect sense, Artemis. As always. What are you thinking?"  
"Well, we know she doesn't eat meat. That crosses off bacon, sausages, ham, and etcetera. I imagine that means we'll be leaving off things such as tomatoes, eggs and beans, which would normally accompany such foods. Therefore, I believe that a meal of pancakes with maple syrup, fresh fruit, toast, and some sort of drink would suffice. I was considering either tea or a blended fruit drink. Smoothie. Do you think she would prefer waffles over pancakes? Does Holly even drink tea? Maybe-" Artemis was over calculating again.

"Artemis, this is breakfast. It's not an exact science, you can relax a little."

"I think I would prefer an exact science, Butler. At least then I would know what I'm doing."

In the end, they settled on the original meal plan, electing tea- earl grey of course- as the drink of choice. With careful coaching from Butler, Artemis managed to concoct a decent breakfast, with only a few minor cuts and bruises. Butler would wonder how his principle managed to cut himself making pancakes for the rest of his days.

Artemis stretched, interlacing his thin fingers high above his head. He lifted the tray of food in one hand, holding the tea in his other. The tea was the one thing he hadn't needed any help to make. He was no savage, after all. In his distraction, he forgot to clean up before heading off to Holly's room.

Holly woke to a strange knocking on her door. It sounded as though it were being hit unreasonably low, or kicked.

"It's me, Holly. Are you decent?" Artemis' voice sounded a little strained.

"Mrrr. As descent as I can be in pajamas. Come on in. why are you waking me up so early?" She muttered this into her pillow, lying face down. Her covers were pulled nearly over her head, with only a mop of auburn hair poking out over the top. One hand extended up, resting on the pillow. A single foot was hanging off the bed, sticking out of the twisted cocoon of blankets. Artemis stood in the doorway for a moment, taking in the sight. Somehow, he wasn't surprised in the slightest.

"Holly, it's eleven thirty." Holly sat up at this, struggling to turn over and face him.

"What? That's impossible, I- what is that?" she had noticed the tray of food in his hands and sat up gleefully as he approached her.

"Well, I knew you'd be tired today, so I decided you deserved a little treat. Breakfast in bed is the perfect way to start your… morning. As it were."

"Artemis, you are the best." She said this with a predatory look in her eye as she gazed wantonly at the plate of food. Artemis wasn't sure he wanted to be there to see her eat it.

"I'm glad you're happy. There have been… problems with my cooking before." Artemis ran a hand through his hair, relieved, as she started to eat. This had the interesting effect of adding white streaks- his hands were for some reason covered in flour.

Holly stopped, with a huge forkful of pancakes in her mouth.

"You… did you make this?"

"I did."

"Am I going to die?" Holly had heard stories of Artemis' failed attempts.

"No, Holly, you are not going to die. I hope. I had Butler direct me in the process this time, and I believe I have shown vast improvement."

Holly didn't quite register this comment. She had just noticed Artemis' attire- he was wearing silk pajamas, which was nothing special, but he was wearing something over them. Without a word, she reached over, picked up her "civilian" communicator, and snapped a picture. After all, it wasn't every day you got to see Artemis Fowl the Second in a floral apron.


	7. Chapter 7

Holly sat on the bed, giggling. She had finished the meal, which was surprisingly well prepared despite being cooked by Artemis. The tray lay on the floor, crumbs and bits of toast the last monument to what happens when pancakes meet a hungry elf. It was a grim sight, and will be forever left to your imagination.

The sight Holly was laughing at was one Artemis Fowl the Second. He was perched on the footboard of her bed, feet resting on the mattress. He had discarded the offensive apron, but there was little to be done about the rest of him. Even with the apron, he had been unable to avoid becoming completely covered in flour. The powdery substance made an alarmingly small amount of difference on his pale skin, but his hair was another matter. It was standing on end, the black locks spiky and streaked with white. He looked like a mad scientist (not too far off) who had received a few too many shocks. He sneezed, and a white cloud erupted around him. The poor mud man was blinded for a moment, falling off his seat. This had the effect of knocking him forward, directly onto the bed.

Artemis shook his head in an attempt to free himself of the clinging dust, but only elicited a sneeze from below him.

Below me? Artemis thought, confused for only a moment before he realized what had happened. This didn't stop him from freezing on the spot as he cautiously opened his eyes.

Artemis was on his elbows and knees on the bed, directly over Holly. There was still a duvet between them, but to him the distance was still uncomfortably close. As his eyes opened, so did Holly's. They made eye contact for a brief moment, then Artemis shot back fast enough to give himself whiplash. He had been only inches away from… Artemis pushed a rebellious few "teenage" thoughts out of his head, and looked down slightly fearfully.

Luckily, Holly was laughing. Artemis watched her with interest. There was something about the way her eyes lit up when she smiled, something that made him forget himself a little more every time. Something that made him want to smile himself. He did so, reciprocating the infectious laugh with a small smile.

"I didn't know stuff like that actually happened in real life!" Holly giggled. Artemis looked at her questioningly. He wasn't always in touch with popular culture, sometimes even less that someone who literally lived underground.

"As opposed to…?"

"Well, in human culture, anime and manga often use this as a kind of trope. Do you-"

"Yes, I know what 'anime' is, Holly. Dimly. I am simply not a connoisseur." The word sounded foreign on Artemis' tongue. He felt the need to say a few long words to counter balance the effect. He resisted the temptation.

"Well, anyway, whenever the writers want to build romantic tension, they always 'accidentally' put the two characters in a situation like this. I guess it lets them show their reactions to each other?"

Artemis sat back, realizing that he was still sat on her legs. "Romantic tension, Holly?"

Shit, Holly thought. I didn't mean to say that. "Well, that is, for TV characters, not for- I mean, it's not really-"

Artemis just smiled his vampire smile, watching her turn very slightly red. Leaning forward slightly, he looked Holly in the eye and waited for her to take a breath. When she finally stopped, he said,

"You appear to be reacting rather strongly, Holly. Any… tension, I should know about?"

"Artemis!" Holly went even redder than before.

"What?" Artemis smiled even wider, a look of pure innocence plastered on his face. The effect was eerie. "I simply meant that, being well studied on the human body, I'm sure I could provide an exemplary massage if you are feeling tense."

Holly threw a pillow at his head. The resulting puff of flour had them both spluttering again for a moment, and Artemis got up as it cleared.

"Very well, Holly. I will leave you to freshen up. We have a big day ahead of us, after all." With that, he stepped backwards out of the room and closed the door, leaving Holly to stew.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ugh this is so old i'm so sorry

Holly and Artemis were in the garage. Butler was off somewhere else, presumably cleaning his guns, beating the stuffing out of a training dummy, or reading a romance novel. He had… varied interests. Artemis left him a note not to worry, and that he was simply taking Holly out for a day.

Artemis had so far refused to enlighten Holly of his plans for the day. All he would say was that he planned to make sure this vacation was all about her. Now, however, Holly was worried about something else- Artemis was climbing into the driver's seat of a sleek, black, extremely expensive looking car.

"Arty, is it safe for you to be driving?" Holly paled as she stood by her open door, unwilling to enter the car.

"Of course it is. I have my license, do I not? Besides, it's not like you could drive above ground, especially while shielded."

"Well, yes, but- well, sometimes you can be a little… clumsy? I'm not keen on dying today."

Artemis only smiled, infinitesimally, as Holly climbed reluctantly into the passenger seat.

"Clearly, Holly, you haven't seen me drive." With that, he commanded the garage door to open with a small remote, and they were out onto the drive.

They moved at a reasonable speed at first, as they left the garage. This lasted just long enough to lure the fairy into a false sense of security, and then the sped down the path like a bullet from a gun. Holly was pressed back into her seat, gritting her teeth in a grimace. She had always viewed human cars as little more than large metal death traps. Artemis' pose was mirroring hers, except his teeth were bared in a very slightly manic grin. He spun the wheel and they fishtailed onto the road. In her terror, Holly only barely remembered to shield out of sight before they reached a major road. As they sped past signs and trees at about twice the speed limit, Holly loudly lamented her imminent death at the hands of a crazed mud man. Artemis' only response was to laugh, and drive faster. At least that was something, though- Artemis Fowl was genuinely laughing. Somehow, it helped put Holly's fears to rest as they rounded another corner, barely slowing as the tires screeched.

Artemis slowed down to the legal speed limit as they entered inhabited area, gliding past office buildings. Finally, they slowed to a stop in a parking lot, which was secluded enough that no one would notice Holly's door seemingly opening and closing by itself.

"This way for our first stop, Ms. Short." Artemis strode down the sidewalk, hearing Holly's footsteps keeping pace with his. He slowed slightly to accommodate her shorter stature. They stopped outside a large hospital, covered in huge windows. The sunlight made the panes opaque, blinding to look at. Artemis entered through the double doors, which were helpfully already propped open.

As they walked through an empty wing of the hospital, Holly once again tried to coax information out of Artemis.

"Why are we in a hospital, Artemis? Not exactly a common place to choose for a casual outing, is it? What are we doing here?"

"We're paying a visit to someone." And that was all she could get out of him until they reached a glass wall, separating a hospital room from the hallway. The curtains were drawn open, showing an emaciated teenage boy lying on a bed. A card and a vase of roses stood on a table by the bed. He was hooked up to a series of monitors and machines that Holly didn't recognize, as well as a heart monitor and IV drip. He was asleep at the moment, and Artemis stood at the window. He faced the child with his hands clasped tightly behind his back. Holly stood at his side, and for a few moments they simply watched the sick child. Finally, Holly broke the silence.

"Do you know him?" Holly could see no other reason to visit a patient, especially for someone usually so stoic.

"No. not exactly."

"Then why are we here? Who is he?"

"He's sick. Very sick. He's been in a coma for years. He was supposed to die within the year." Artemis did not look away from the boy as he spoke. Holly gaze up at him, still confused. Before she spoke again, Artemis continued.

"That estimate has changed now. He's expected to make a full recovery. Indirectly, you saved his life." Holly was more confused than before, now.

"How could I have saved him? I've never even met him, and I don't know anything about human medicine!" Artemis smiled faintly.

"When I was younger, before I met you, I created several patents in the fields of technology, science, and medicine. As well as many others, of course." Holly rolled her eyes. He could never resist bragging, could he?

"Many of the technological devices, lifesaving technology, I had planned to keep off the market, for personal gain. I meant to sell them to the highest bidder at the right time. Gold is power, is it not?" Artemis spoke bitterly, saying the words with disgust. He sneered at his reflection in the glass.

"It was only after I met you that I changed. Only after you told me to encourage that spark of decency. You took that small, weak little spark, and you made a flame. You lit a candle in the dark, when you changed me. I decided to share what I had created, in the hope that I could right a little of the wrong I had done. Now countless lives have been saved in hospitals worldwide, thanks to you." Holly looked at Artemis with and shook her head.

"I don't know about that, Arty. you've always been good, even as deep down as twelve year old Artemis buried it. All I did was give him a little push- he would have gotten there by himself, in time."

Artemis gazed longer at the child behind the glass. One hand rested low on the window, and he said, "If it wasn't for you, it would have been too late for him." With that, he turned and walked back to the doors of the hospital. As Holly followed, she wondered if he had been talking about the sick boy, or about himself.

In the hospital, a small, sick boy woke up. He reached out a hand, picking up the card on his bedside table. It was old and weathered, but his family had made sure it was not thrown away. He remembered it had been given to him on the day of his admission to the hospital, by his classmates. As a nurse rushed to get a doctor, announcing his awakening, the child read the message for the first time. It was written in a spidery, elegant script, surrounded by the signatures of his fellow students. He remembered only one student who wrote like that. In all honesty, he was surprised he had written anything on the card at all.

It read, simply, Get well soon, from all of us at St. Bartleby's.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok! that's all that was written before i stopped updating like two years ago. anyone want more?

It had been quite a long day for Holly and Artemis. After the slightly depressing visit to the hospital- because of course that's the kind of place Artemis Fowl would take a guest- it seemed that Artemis had felt the need to lighten the mood. And, coincidentally- meaning, almost certainly planned in advance- there was a street fair happening just nearby. It was quite an extravagant one, too- live music, hot food being sold in stalls, games set up for the children, more food… a surprising amount of expense to go to for an obscure Irish holiday that most likely only Artemis actually knew about. Bribery can get you anywhere.

They had spent the rest of the day wandering around the fair, listening to the music and observing the people, reminiscing over past adventures. Holly even sampled a few human dishes, but most were too full of pollutants to stomach. She did, however, take a liking to one which Artemis did not expect: cotton candy. It seemed that, for whatever reason, the elf had decided that there was absolutely nothing wrong with eating a ball of pure sugar twice the size of her head. In fact, she found so little wrong with it that she ate three. Artemis watched with a mixture of awe and horror as the diminutive woman made the pink, fluffy treat vanish in seconds. As with the food he had served that morning, he was left wondering how she could possibly inhale that much food without exploding. He himself had deigned to try a small amount, but had instantly become completely covered in the substance. The moment he took the first bite, it managed to attach itself to his face, hands, and hair. Holly was still picking bits off of him to snack on as they walked.

By the time they reached their final destination for the day, the sun was setting once again. A deep red haze was forming on the horizon as they reached the crest of a hill, illuminating the clouds with an orange glow. The hill was rather far from the main street where the fair had been, and Artemis had had to dodge constant questions from Holly about where they were headed.

The hill itself was of a lush green, with long grass carpeting its surface. The area was sort of like a park-one large, gently sloping expanse of grass, looking out over a river. Families could often be seen bringing their children there for picnics, though the park was empty now. They had a perfect view over the river as the sun set, watching from the highest point in the park. They were silent for quite some time as they sat there, watching the sun arc towards the water. It had sunk halfway before the horizon before either of them spoke. Both had been unwilling to break the spell cast by the picturesque view.

"This is… beautiful, Artemis." Holly was at a loss for words. This wasn't exactly a common sight when you lived miles underground. "Are all sunsets like this on the surface?" Artemis looked at her as she gazed forward. The sun's dying rays played across her face, but she made no move to shield her eyes. The light made her copper skin glow, giving new definition to the word "radiant". Her eyes were wide open, trying to absorb as much of the sight as possible before it was gone. Artemis shielded his eyes with one hand, leaning back on the other, and took some time before he responded.

"Not all. But many. It's one of the perks of living above ground, I suppose." He turned to look at Holly, his mismatched eyes sparkling slightly. The sun was almost gone, now. Only a sliver remained visible, casting long rays into the water, dying it gold, and leaving even longer shadows. "What do you think?"

"It's unreal. There isn't anything that compares to this underground- all our light is artificial. If some of the People knew what they were missing… well, let's just say that the party to return to the surface might have a much stronger backing." Artemis was thrown for a moment at this. He had known that the People were originally from the surface, forced underground by humans, and he had known that some often snuck up to live in hiding, but had never heard of any real public desire to return.

"There are Fairies who want to return? I thought that only…. People like Mulch wanted to live up here. How much support do they have?" Holly gave this some thought before responding.

"Well, not much. A lot of Fairies think that wanting to go back is madness. They say that the surface world has no place for us, after the humans took over. On the other hand, there are many people who don't back it out of self-preservation. I imagine quite a few fairies would jump at the chance."

Artemis sat back in silence. It had taken quite a bit of self-control to avoid asking the question that had jumped to the forefront of his mind. It wasn't yet the right time for that, but the question repeated itself in his mind. But what about you, Holly? Where would you go, given the chance? Artemis and Holly were silent once more, and watched as the sun fell from the sky.


End file.
